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Monday, June 21, 2004
I close my eyes, and all I see is you...
Wow where do I start. Saturday night was pretty cool! I <3 the Ataris. But they didn't play their best songs =\. Oh well. There was a very very very cute guy there and I was too afraid to talk to him and finally by the end of the show Jessica slapped me across the face and I went and talked to him lol. Seth didn't come, which was okay... it was actually better. I figure, I'll just remain friends with him and don't turn things into like what happened with Wendy's boy. Blah. My whole familys been sick... this morning around 3 am I went to flip over and all the sudden BRIGHT LIGHTS in my face and I was like "wtf?" well my sister was up puking and my mom helped her. Then I wake up this morning and my mom's sick too! I didn't want to catch anything but my stomach hurts a little bit but I don't want to get sick! nooo. So my day was sorta blah because I was supposed to go to this electronic store and get a new iPod since my other one crapped out, but no one can take me there! So at around... eh.. 5:40 pm today, Todd writes back to my email and I ask him if he has MSN messenger (Ya see. I've never talked to him on AIM before...only via email) and he said that he didn't but that he had AIM (which I knew and he sent me his sn) well I was wayyy to chicken to IM him (I get really nervous when I'm talking to someone I like... and usually I don't even IM them.) well I emailed Todd and I was like "I have butterflies... haha" and he asked why and I told him that I get nervous when I talk to guys I have crushes on... and so then. Vola. He IMs me! =O! (see the thing that makes me laugh is I didn't send him my sn in any of the emails today, I sent him my sn a long long long time ago... so either 1) he kept that email or 2) he wrote it down or 3) he added it to his buddy list and never IMed me lol. ) I'll show you my favorite parts of our conversation.
Todd: How hot is it there?
Me: currently it is... 102... ouch. haha
Todd: Too hot! I wish I where there to whisk you into icy AC!
Todd: Your smile lights up mine!
Todd: pleasant dreams!
Todd: :-)
Me: haha of you:-)
Todd: :-)
Todd: smooch!
I love that man. Awwwwww <3. He's the best guy. Ever.
Posted at 10:13 pm by rafiki
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Friday, June 18, 2004
And I want to badly to believe that there is truth and love is real...
Well things have changed... a lot. At least with the Seth thing. I put a few things together and I have decided to give up on the relationship. Blah blah. It's cool. I'm glad I realized it early on instead of being totally enthralled with this guy and then having my heart broken. Sure. It still hurts but I'm glad it happened this way. Yesterday I was in this horrible mood (because of all of this bullshit) and I wrote this whole thing about being lonley... it really got me thinking. I have decided to stick with liking Todd. It's fairly safe... he lives far away. haha I just realized... I've been talking to Todd for 5 months.. exactly today. Aww. Gag me. lol There's just something about him... I couldn't tell you what. All I know that there is something about him that makes me think 'long term'. And what does "long term" mean? I don't quite know. I just know that someday I will meet this guy in person and there will be something. Hell. There is something right now, and it's online. Age doesn't matter to me any longer. I have learned from my parents that they don't really trust me hanging out with a guy thats 6 years older than me... so it doesn't really matter. Sigh. I want to move to Boston. <3?
Posted at 05:03 pm by rafiki
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Tuesday, June 15, 2004
If you're callin about my heart, it's still yours...
Applebees today...
So my mom and I go in (because I didn't want to go in alone... because "That would be too obvious" according to my sister and mom. hahaha) so right as we walk in Seth is walking into the kitchen but he turns around and point's to me, as if saying "I see you're here..." so we get a seat in his area and he comes up and hes like "I tried to get someone to fill in for me on that day but I couldn't find anyone...:-\" so I was slightly sad but w/e. So we order and then my mom goes "well I'm gonna go... you can just stay here and I'll come pick you up." so of course I'm like "YEAH!!!" lol So I'm just sittin in our booth and everytime he would walk by we would both look at each other and grin it was great. So then I was looking at the schedule and he came by my table and asked if I needed anything and I go, "I have a question..." and he goes "I have an answer..." and I pointed to the sheet of paper I printed out (it had all the info for the concert, date, time, price) and I go "I told you the wrong date..." and he goes "Ohh *scratches chin*... I'll have to see if I can find someone to fill in cause I have double shift on Saturdays... tell you what. Could you write down your phone number and I'll just give you a call and let you know if I can find someone?" (=-O) so I wrote down my phone number and I gave him the whole sheet of paper (w/ the info and then my name and number) and he goes "Alright.:-) I'll give ya a call." Woop. Woop. Also. We were talkin and I go "I'm not sure I'll go to the concert... if you go, I'll go. But if you don't go, then I'm not sure if I'll go..." I love being obvious. <3
Posted at 10:50 pm by rafiki
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Monday, June 14, 2004
Wow so my life is really interesting. Today Johnny asked me to hang out... so I was like "sure!" cause hes a really cool guy. And today he had just gotten his truck (piece of crap but it runs). So I met up with him at Smiths. We hung out at Borders and then went to the mall. Well I called my house at like 5:30 (I had NO idea what time it was until he opened his phone and I asked what time it was.) So my sister answers and she goes "OH my gosh were are you?! Mom is FREAKING OUT!" and I'm thinking "What the hell? It's not even 6. I didn't have a time frame or anything like that..." So he takes me home and my dads like "okay we need to go to Smiths to get mom." So we go to Smiths and I get out of the car and go to my moms car and shes freaking out. So I go to her car and now I'm freaking because I'm a really good kid and I was freaked out that they would never trust me again! My mom drives home and so now my mom, dad, and myself are standing out on the driveway having this conversation about how it wasn't safe to be hanging out with him. And this conversation resumed to the dinner table... and my dad was like "What is a 22 year old wanting to do hanging out with a 16 year old?!" and "He's already been married!" and "He's a grown man and he wants to be living out of his van?!"; "This is not someone I want you hanging out with." And I'm thinking "What the fuck. What did he ever to do you." My dad then demanded that I don't talk to him. Which pissed me off. So my mom had to go take my sister to dance and I went with her because I just needed to get out of the house. On the way to my sis's dance thing, I didn't say anything to my mom because I hate talking about stuff like this in front of my sister (she gets upset really easily). So then my mom pulled into this parking lot and we talked for about 20 minutes. I mean. If my dad is freaking out because hes 22, THEN WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH SETH!? I guess a few things are straighted out between me and my rents... I was talking with my mom and I found a loophole in this whole Ataris concert... if Jessica comes with me, and Seth "happens" to be there.. vola. :) I like this. I'm seeing him tomorrow... and I'm very excited. <3
Posted at 10:54 pm by rafiki
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Sunday, June 13, 2004
I'll be the one by your side...
(I like how my previous entry is about Todd and then this one is about Seth and I'm equally excited about both. hahaha)
When am I allowed to scream?
NOW!
AHHHH!!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alright. YES! Yes! Yes! lol. So uh. Seth and I might be going to The Ataris concert on the 19th? :)!!!! haha when I went in today he asked me when the next time I was coming and then he told me the days that hes working. Sigh. This could be great. Major potential. Aww I hope we hold hands. lol I'm such a hopeless romantic. <3
Posted at 03:02 pm by rafiki
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Saturday, June 12, 2004
Last night I saw you online...
So about a week ago, Todd got into a car accident... nothing big but he bruised his leg up. So I emailed him (because Jessica said something that made my mind click and think: "ooh I should email that to him" so I did...) "Oh no! *kisses leg to make it all better*." So about a week has gone by now, and he hadn't responded so I was like "Fine. Ugh. I hate when he does this." Cause I'll put myself out there and then he won't respond ya know? So I check my inbox this morning and it says that I have an email from him. And I'm thinking "wtf?" This is what he writes.
:-)
The legs doing better!
Thanks for the kisses!
Todd
I <3 him x 1,826,543,212,465,462,131,521.
Posted at 01:56 pm by rafiki
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Cause I hate every beautiful day...
Gah dammit. My dads friend was supposed to come with me to Applebees today... but she's still sleeping. GAH! Guess I won't go to Applebees today. Maybe tomorrow. But then again. If I go once a week... and I go on Thursday I can be like "Oh come to the show tomorrow! It'll be fun!" and then if he asks me why, I say "So I can get to know you better outside of this place." Teehehe. lol Maybe.
Posted at 12:59 pm by rafiki
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Friday, June 11, 2004
And you know it's not so easy when you're all alone...
Eh today wasn't very interesting... I slept horrible and ended up waking up at 10.. which is really unusual for me. My dad's friend came over and we all swam in the pool. I wanted to go to Applebees soooooooo badly but I didn't. Sometime this weekend perhaps? But definately next Thursday! Woop woop! Well I'm off... I think I'm gonna go party on the strip... lol yeahhh... <3
Posted at 08:49 pm by rafiki
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Thursday, June 10, 2004
All I want to do is lie in bed with you...
So today was pretty good... eh... scratch that. Today was excellent. Probably the best day I have had in a long time (overall... I've had excellent times during days, but today was just all around excellent.)
To start off, Jessica was at my house... woop woop. And we went to Wendys and I saw Wendys boy... and it was funny to see him again because I haven't seen him in about 3 months... and I used to go to Wendys every day... haha. And then I was talking to my friend Johnny (I met him on myspace, we've talked on the phone a few times and just about everyday on IM.) and he goes "well I'm gonna be at Borders..." (we live a few miles from each other) and so he said I should come meet him up there. So I did. Ohh hes a cutie. Sadly he has a girlfriend, but he was really really really cool to talk with. We talked for about an hour and a half in the cafe thing and then I had to get home because our friends were supposed to come over. Supposed to...
BUT DIDN'T! Which. Turned out to be a blessing! Hurray! So instead of eating at home, my mom, sis and I decided to go to Applebees. And so we went and sat down and our waiter comes up, his name was Seth... lol... and my mouth was like =O. He was so cute. Beyond cute. He was so cute that I had forgotten about every guy that I am currently crushing on. AND! My mom thought he was cute! I couldn't stop smiling! I felt like a total nerd but hey. I am a nerd so it's cool.
But the manager, Bob, came up to us and we were talking to him (he's an older guy) and my mom goes "Yeah, we'll be coming here more often... this one (me) likes your selection of waiters..." and he goes "Oh really? I'll keep that in mind next time you come in." and I go "Yeah... well you only need to keep in the mind the one we have now..." and he just started laughing. SO then our waiter comes up and asks if we want dessert and the manager goes "Yeah they want dessert... in more ways than one.." HAHAHAHAHA. Oh my gosh I wanted to die. So my mom paid for our dinner and we were just sitting there and whatnot and Seth came over and he stood next to me and put his arm around my chair *dies* lol and we just talked about music and HE LIKES THE ATARIS! AHH!!! =D and then as we were leaving he was standing at the register and he waved goodbye and my mom waved back!? and my sister goes "MOM! STOP! you are such a freak! He was waving to Ashley!" ahahahahahaha and so I waved back to him and we both smiled really big. Sigh. He's sooo cute. He's 22, and in college he played on the football team. So cute. Sooo sooo cute. I'll just go back to Applebees more often. =) <3
Posted at 08:52 pm by rafiki
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Wednesday, June 09, 2004
You will always be my Konstantine...
Whew. Alright... so this thing is up. Now I'm going to get everything on my mind, off.
To start off. Let's go with boys...men...whatever you wish to call them.
There are certian guys you'll be hearing about quite often on this thing... so just learn to deal.
I was supposed to be meeting up with this guy, Slushie, that I met on myspace on the 14th, but he forgot that he has class on that night so that won't be happening. =\
Then there's Todd. Oh how I <3 him. I met him on this website where you meet people for friends... haha so much for "friends". I mean. We are friends, we just both like each other a lot. Yeah. He's older. I'm no one to not like someone because of their age. But he's such a sweetheart and whenever something bad happens in my life, he always makes it seem like its going to be okay. I've never really felt close to someone like I feel close to him... it's strange. We'll see what happens.
Also. There is the old-school crush. Joey. 2+ years now? haha yes. I saw him a few weeks ago... and we kissed. It was amazing <3. I never thought something like that could happen.
Posted at 01:31 pm by rafiki
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